Birth Certificates Please!

Shelford came flying out of the blocks but Brentwood managed to repel the early pressure and was soon camped in the Shelford 22 despite an inability to keep their own ball in contact, especially mauls. This inability to keep hold of the ball did not go unnoticed by coach Ian, who could be heard bellowing no matter where you stood!
Brentwood eventually opened the scoring after some pretty static back play and a decidedly dodgy pass, which could easily have been intercepted, saw the ball get to Joel Ison. Joel did incredibly well to dance his way though the defence and Chris Doble was in support to take the scoring pass. The conversion missed and it was 5-0 Brentwood.
Shelford had a penalty instead of the restart due to Chris Doble having a minor tussle on the floor after scoring and were soon in the Brentwood 22. Brentwood however managed to regain the ball but decided to play suicide rugby on their own line with bad passes everywhere resulting in a score for Shelford. This however was disallowed for a forward pass but another suicidal clearance kick gave Shelford possession straight back from which they scored. The conversion was missed, 5 all.
Half time arrived just before Ian spontaneously combusted and the team were given a stern talking to.
Soon into the second half Brentwood had a scrum from just outside their own 22. The ball was fed to Jake Eagleton who made an eel like run through the Shelford defence but just got caught by the shirt. The ball was recycled quickly and flung wide to Joel who ran into the corner to score. The conversion was short, 10-5 Brentwood.
Shelford however were straight back on the attack, but just when they were in a promising position play had to be halted for a Question of Sport, what happened next type moment as a woman walked her dog straight across the pitch. Not just up the other end of the pitch though, but straight through the middle of play and she got a good three quarters of the way across before even noticing. From the resulting scrum Brentwood got the man in touch but then lost their own lineout, giving Shelford good attack position from where they scored, 10 all as the conversion was missed.
Shortly after the restart Brentwood managed to regain possession and just clung onto it on the half way line. James Payton got his hands on it and went steaming up the touchline where he looked to be put in touch but just managed to keep the ball in play. The ball was recycled to William standing in the fly half position, he handed off a player and offloaded to James, who threw a great pass to Joel who again raced into the corner to score his second. (you see Joel this run for the corner lark works!) The conversion was missed, 15-10 Brentwood.
However the win was not to be as with practically the last play of the game Shelford turned over a Brentwood ruck, although I can’t possibly see how they did it without using hands, and they scored. Fortunately the conversion was missed and the game was drawn. Final score 15 all.
Lastly, after Ian’s explosion at the end of the game due to the amount of penalties conceded because of back chatting the ref, it has been decided that there is going to be a whip round for muzzles at training next week!

The first half was dismal. I’m sorry but there is no other way to put it, take it as constructive criticism…With Brentwood unable to keep hold of their own ball and conceding turnovers left, right and centre Eton Manor had all the pressure, some last ditch defence, especially some superb defence from Roland Johnson, just stopping them scoring. (A prophecy as to what the England game would be like later perhaps?!)
With the substitutes and supporters getting equally as frustrated at the lack of ball retention and Del being in a particularly good mood with **** this and **** that being heard at regular intervals half time couldn’t have come sooner and unsurprisingly mass changes were made.
The tempo of the game picked up after half time and Brentwood were finally able to keep hold of the ball for a period of time. The forwards set up a good platform and the ball was spun wide to Joel Ison who, after a bit of stepping, raced in to score in the corner, the conversion was missed, 5-0 to Brentwood.
Brentwood were now starting to dominate in the forwards and from a scrum on the half way line after the restart had not gone 10 they gained a penalty. Billy Aldous, in-between nosebleeds, took it and crashed into the Eton Manor defence. The ball was recycled and Jake Eagleton made a good break and popped the ball to Tim who did well to straighten his line to give Joel space. Tim then passed to Joel who raced in and ran round to the put the ball down under the posts. Adam Mathias’s conversion went straight down the middle, 12-0 Brentwood.
Brentwood again piled on the pressure from the restart and had quickly turned the ball over. After numerous phases Sam Fry came through on a good line and looked to be in but was just tackled and Brentwood lost the ball. After some more hard forward work Brentwood gained a five metre scrum and as the scrums were now uncontested there was no chance of Brentwood losing the ball. From the scrum the ball was passed blind to Sam Fry who came flying in on another good line, very similar to the one in the Essex Cup Semi last weekend, and ran over to score. The conversion was missed 17-0 Brentwood.
Full time and despite starting very badly Brentwood came through in the end, the theory being that the boys were probably unsettled due to the absence of their coaches who’d snuck off to Paris for the weekend…
Also one last request for Rob, after being screamed at to come on as a blood sub for Billy so loudly for so long that you were possibly the only one in the Brentwood borough that couldn’t hear, could you please invest in a hearing aid.

As Brentwood knocked on yet again to the disbelieving cries of their supporters it appeared the occasion had got to them as they kept making simple mistakes that normally would not have happened. Thurrock had lots of pressure but Brentwood defended well, not allowing them any space to get through and towards the end of the first half they finally started to look more comfortable, with their best attack coming from some good forward work and the ball being spread wide quickly but being knocked on in the tackle by the touchline. From the scrum however Brentwood used their forwards to get a free kick that saw Sam Morgan go steaming into the Thurrock defence, making a large dent before he was eventually bought down. The forwards recycled quickly to give the backs good ball that was flung wide to Joel Ison who pinned his ears back and raced for the corner (yes the corner!) to score. Very strong wind made kicking the conversion very difficult and although Adam was on target the wind blew the ball back, 5-0 Brentwood.
The conversion attempt signalled the end of a very frustrating half for Brentwood however the positive of scoring just before half time seemed to give the boys their confidence back and they came out much more fired up for the second half, soon having most of the territory and many attacks.
After many phases of attack Brentwood were rewarded with a 5 metre scrum, and when the Thurrock scrum half went offside in a desperate attempt to halt the Brentwood forwards, Brentwood were given a penalty. At 5 metres out you’d generally expected either William Bassenger or James Paton to take the penalty and crash over, evidently Thurrock expected this too so when the ball went to Sam Morgan they were caught completely off guard and Sam went smashing through to score. The conversion attempt was just short, 10-0 Brentwood.
From the restart Sam Morgan took the catch and went hurtling through the defence. The support was good and the ball was recycled quickly for the backs who called a pre planned move which worked to perfection. Adam Mathias looked to take play towards the touchline but then popped a pass back to Sam Fry who’d come off his wing and ran a great line infield. Sam then popped the ball off in contact to Chris Doble who popped it to James Paton with the try line at his mercy. Again the wind caught the conversion attempt which just missed, 15-0 Brentwood.
It seemed that Brentwood now had Thurrock under extreme pressure and this pressure was made worse when Jake sent a booming kick down the touchline from a penalty to gain a 5 metre lineout for Brentwood. Although initially the ball was lost the Thurrock player was tackled into touch and Brentwood had the lineout only slightly further out. This time the catch was taken well and a maul was set up, the maul lurched forward until Rob Finnerty peeled off the side with the ball and ran over to score a well made forwards try. Wind made Adam’s life difficult and the conversion was missed, 20-0 Brentwood.
From the restart Joel Ison was caught extremely high, Brentwood penalty. Brentwood opted to run the penalty and tapped and went. The ball was shipped to Stuart Frith, now on at fly half for Adam Mathias, who put a beautiful chip over the top of the Thurrock defence for Jordan Hill to chase down. Jordan managed to out pace the Thurrock defence and chipped the ball over the try line, diving on it to score. Apparently I’m not allowed to mention the fact that Billy had to forfeit the conversion as he took to long (whoops!) so instead I’ll mention the fact that he got beaten by the majority of the backs in the post match crackers/mars bar and lemonade race…fairy!
Billy’s failed attempt at a conversion signalled full time and the celebrations of getting through to the cup final could begin. Coach Ian Dennis praised the boys for “cutting out mistakes after a slow, nervous start” and also said that “the second half was a demonstration of how they can play and they thoroughly deserve their place in the final.” Keith Morgan summed up the general mood saying, “I’m over the moon!” He then added that he was “proud of the boys for keeping there cool under constant provocation and gave a good professional performance.” Pete McCarthy however was more interested in other matters and asked me to quote him as saying, “The raffle was a fix! How could both Steve Doble and Bill Bassenger possibly win and not me?”
I’d also just like to say a quick thanks to Dee and Swampy for buying me a pair of fingerless gloves to stop me whinging that my hands got cold when I had to remove them to take notes!

After the mile hike to the pitch the match kicked off in freezing cold, windy conditions, much to my unamusement! Brentwood had the wind behind them in the first half and used it to their advantage by putting through some clever kicks which pinned Chingford back in their half. Soon a very good kick from Stuart Frith and good chasing from Sam Fry resulted in a good touch find which got even better when James Paton snaffled the lineout ball and eventually Brentwood gained a five metre scrum. Billy Aldous, playing number 8 this week in the absence of Chris Doble, picked up from the back of the scrum and charged for the line. Even though he was tackled he was strong enough to get the ball down. Stuart converted, 7-0 Brentwood.
Soon after the restart Brentwood conceded a penalty on the right touchline and seemed to suddenly all fall asleep, wandering back ten like they had all the time in the world. Chingford used their initiative and tapped the penalty quickly, it got to one of their quick players and he had an easy run in under the posts. The conversion was kicked, 7-7.
Chingford were now fired up but unfortunately it seemed Brentwood were the opposite, again conceding a penalty in the Chingford half just after the restart and again falling asleep. Chingford again tapped and went, shipping it out quickly to the wing. The Chingford winger had enough speed to out pace the Brentwood defence and ran in to score. The conversion was kicked, 14-7 to Chingford. Half time came soon after which Brentwood definitely needed to wake up a bit, evidently had all stayed up the previous night to watch the dismal England affair until half past seven, way past their bedtimes!
However from the kick-off in the second half things got worse. The Chingford player caught the ball cleanly and ran through three ‘attempted’ tackles to gift Chingford their third score. The conversion was spot on, 21-7 Chingford.
Something dramatic had to be done and Coach Ian sent on James Paton at inside centre. This proved to be an inspired substitution as the first time Brentwood got the ball James came from deep at pace and took a pop pass from Stuart to go steaming through the Chingford defence like a high speed train. Nothing could stop him as he carried on charging through to score. Stuart kicked the conversion, 21-14 to Chingford and Brentwood were right back in it.
Brentwood were now piling on the pressure, desperate to at least get a draw and Chingford were stuck in their own half. Chingford then gave away a penalty from which came hit of the day from Carl Phillips. The penalty was tapped and given to Carl running on to it at pace who smashed into the first Chingford defender. I doubt he even knows now what hit him. Ouch would probably be the best word.
Unfortunately for Brentwood time was not on their side and although they sent wave after wave of attacks Chingford defended their lead valiantly and were helped by Chris McCarthy, who decided to poof around after a high tackle instead of getting on with is so Brentwood could take the penalty quickly, and held on for the win. A brave come back but hopefully the boys will be more awake for the Essex Cup Semi next weekend!