Birth Certificates Please!

Shelford came flying out of the blocks but Brentwood managed to repel the early pressure and was soon camped in the Shelford 22 despite an inability to keep their own ball in contact, especially mauls. This inability to keep hold of the ball did not go unnoticed by coach Ian, who could be heard bellowing no matter where you stood!
Brentwood eventually opened the scoring after some pretty static back play and a decidedly dodgy pass, which could easily have been intercepted, saw the ball get to Joel Ison. Joel did incredibly well to dance his way though the defence and Chris Doble was in support to take the scoring pass. The conversion missed and it was 5-0 Brentwood.
Shelford had a penalty instead of the restart due to Chris Doble having a minor tussle on the floor after scoring and were soon in the Brentwood 22. Brentwood however managed to regain the ball but decided to play suicide rugby on their own line with bad passes everywhere resulting in a score for Shelford. This however was disallowed for a forward pass but another suicidal clearance kick gave Shelford possession straight back from which they scored. The conversion was missed, 5 all.
Half time arrived just before Ian spontaneously combusted and the team were given a stern talking to.
Soon into the second half Brentwood had a scrum from just outside their own 22. The ball was fed to Jake Eagleton who made an eel like run through the Shelford defence but just got caught by the shirt. The ball was recycled quickly and flung wide to Joel who ran into the corner to score. The conversion was short, 10-5 Brentwood.
Shelford however were straight back on the attack, but just when they were in a promising position play had to be halted for a Question of Sport, what happened next type moment as a woman walked her dog straight across the pitch. Not just up the other end of the pitch though, but straight through the middle of play and she got a good three quarters of the way across before even noticing. From the resulting scrum Brentwood got the man in touch but then lost their own lineout, giving Shelford good attack position from where they scored, 10 all as the conversion was missed.
Shortly after the restart Brentwood managed to regain possession and just clung onto it on the half way line. James Payton got his hands on it and went steaming up the touchline where he looked to be put in touch but just managed to keep the ball in play. The ball was recycled to William standing in the fly half position, he handed off a player and offloaded to James, who threw a great pass to Joel who again raced into the corner to score his second. (you see Joel this run for the corner lark works!) The conversion was missed, 15-10 Brentwood.
However the win was not to be as with practically the last play of the game Shelford turned over a Brentwood ruck, although I can’t possibly see how they did it without using hands, and they scored. Fortunately the conversion was missed and the game was drawn. Final score 15 all.
Lastly, after Ian’s explosion at the end of the game due to the amount of penalties conceded because of back chatting the ref, it has been decided that there is going to be a whip round for muzzles at training next week!